Stress Relief

Is Your Tank Full?

Posted on February 4, 2007. Filed under: awareness, body, brain, Brain Gym, Self Awareness, Stress Relief |

               Did you ever have a teacher in High School make the class do the exercise “if so and so were and animal, flower or car what would they be?” I remember my classmates and I doing this once in 10th grade psychology class.  My friend decided that I was a Mercedes convertible (I forgot which one exactly) classy, sporty and fun.  It fit me.  I loved convertibles especially in sunny southern
California.  Of course my convertible was a sporty FIAT spider, which eventually broke down beyond repair.  In part because it was a FIAT (fix it again Tony) and in part because I wasn’t the greatest with routine maintenance.  Not horrible, mind you, my dad taught me the basics and I cajoled my male friends into changing my oil and other basic tasks.  But I definitely pushed the limits, arriving to work on empty and such things.  This is a common phenomenon among high school and college students.  They call me to say they are running a “little late” for our appointment because they “just realized” they need to get gas.  I smile every time remembering my own adventures running on fumes, putting the car in neutral down the winding hills, so I would make it to the station!  Sometimes I think that angels must have pushed me along because I always “just” made it!

            It’s not just teenagers that push the limits and run on fumes.  Often we carry these adrenaline driven habits into adulthood just transferring the specific details.  We might not ever run out of gas again in the car, but how many times do we run out of patience?  Or energy?  Kindness?  Respect?  When our reserves are low – our levels of back up emergency “funds” – it is very easy to lose out in living our ideal self, living out the person God made us to be.  Maybe your basic physical needs are met.  You have plenty of food, clothing and shelter, but your emotional account is empty from constant giving out and never refilling.  I know that when I want to give someone “the bird” for cutting me off in traffic, that my emotional reserves are low!  (Someone with “road rage” or anger management issues wouldn’t benefit from the above example.) 

            How do you keep your tanks full enough so that you can choose to respond to a situation, instead of simply reacting out of habit or desperation?  What do we need in our lives so that we are free to choose? 

            One important element is making sure our needs are met and that our reserve tanks are full.  One reason I hardly ever ran out of gas in the car I bought when I was 19 was because I knew I had a 2.2 gallon reserve tank. I drove and drove until the light flashed on.  When that light flashed on I knew I had entered the “I better watch it” zone.  Many times I used up me reserve tank within that .2 of the gallon, but I was intent on really pushing the limits counting on the accuracy of my readings of the mileage. 

            Not only do you need that reserve, you need an awareness of it, where you are within it, and the perspective to read it accurately.  If you are used to reading the odometer in kilometers but are driving a car with mileage reading only, you will misjudge the distance.  How many times have you said “I thought I had more          (time, money, patience, whatever).  We misjudge the reality of a situation when our perspective is out of whack. 

            What can throw our perspective out? 

  • Fatigue

  • Hunger (low blood sugar)

  • Unrealistic expectations

  • Illness

  • What we are ingesting mentally (movies, TV, books, radio and newspapers)

  • Relationships

  • Stress

 

The list continues.  The important fact is to know what your triggers are, so that you prepare a “perspective intervention” for yourself!  This isn’t as radical as it sounds.  Actually a shift in perspective can happen in a moment. 

Some things to experiment with:

·        Call your “pick me up” person.  This could be anyone that can talk you out of your craziness; your friend, mentor, coach.·        Ask your friends how they shift their perspective and borrow or brainstorm techniques.·        Go outside and walk around in nature; take time to notice the colors and sounds around you; get out of your head!·        Off to the gym with you.  Stop whining and get moving!

·        Do some Brain Gym (www.braingym.org)

What do you do?  LMK

MLH

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Road Rage and Peace-Making

Posted on November 8, 2006. Filed under: awareness, body, brain, Coaching Corner, emotions, Mind/Body, Self Awareness, Stress Relief |

 Note: Recently I had the honor to be involved with a group of mediators going through their Jump Start Action coaching group through the Mediation Marketing Institute.  The following article was sparked by one of our coaching sessions.

 

Thoughts on being a mediator in all areas of life;

AKA “Walking your Talk”

As we know, it takes certain gifts to be a mediator and peace-maker.  Pursuing a peace ethic in all areas of life can be challenging.  Yet, if you’re going to be operating out of integrity, then you must be diligent in pursing personal growth.  Ah, this can be a bit “touchy-feely” for many high powered left-brain dominant professionals, but I think it is a valuable pursuit.  After all, the ideal state of functioning includes whole brain integration, where you have easy access to your analytical skills and your creative emotional insights.

 

It’s all about having choices.  When we are in reaction mode, we aren’t choosing.  If you find yourself succumbing to “road rage” for example, as was mentioned in our call, then you really aren’t in a position to choose a different response.  You are reacting in relation to your primitive reflexes, and possibly some emotional contagion (See Daniel Goleman’s new book Social Intelligence, for more on this topic).  Unfortunately, all that cortisol—stress hormone—coursing through your system is not beneficial to your health.

 

So what do we need?  We need to have inner resources at our disposal.  When we are stocked up on our resources (like having a full gas tank), we have the ability to choose a response instead of merely reacting.  Our inner resources relate to our BASIC physical and psychological/emotional NEEDS.  Sometimes our primitive reflexes become ingrained as conditioned responses as adults and we wonder why in the world we “over-reacted” in a particular situation.  It can be true that your resources are fully available to you, yet your “knee-jerk” reaction is more powerful.  There are ways to re-set the baseline, so-to-speak, if this is what you discover in your own life.  The work of Dr. David Mumm deals with this element quite effectively.

 

At this point, you might be wondering which resources are low in your life.  Check the basics out: Food, sleep, health, etc.  Oftentimes you simply need to pull back on the adrenaline lifestyle to re-stock.  Many of us are addicted to adrenaline.. Once you’ve checked that your personal physical resources aren’t depleted then check your environmental resources.

  • Are you surrounded by people that believe in what you are doing?
  • Do you have enough support in your life?
  • Do you have personal relationship tension with a significant person in your life?
  • Are your time and energy drained by tasks better done by a support person?
  • Are you energized and focused in your work space?
  • Are you feeling strong emotions such as overwhelm or anxiety?

We see that there are many areas in our lives to explore in regards to having abundant resources.  Pay attention to the signs.  Notice your re-actions.  After all, road-rage or any other such response shows we are running on empty somewhere in our lives.

 

 

Our resources or lack there of definitely signal to who we are being in that moment.  We all desire consistency and integrity in who we are as professionals, but people like counselors, pastors, inspirational writers and mediators can especially become derailed in this area.

Here are some questions to consider as you continue to evolve into who you are becoming (Reminder:  this process continues until we die—nobody “arrives” and that’s it!)

 

As Keith J. Cunningham  states, “The question is not what to do, it is who do I want to be?”

  • Who do I want to create?
  • What do I want to create?
  • Who do I need to be to accomplish this?
  • What skills do I need?
  • Who can hold me accountable to reach my goals?
  • What commitment am I willing to make to myself to be this person?
  • What impact will my actions have on other’s lives?
  • What action can I take right now that will be for my highest good?

To Peace!

Michelle

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emotional integration methods

Posted on August 16, 2006. Filed under: and Tools, body, brain, Brain Gym, emotions, HeartMath, Mind/Body, Positive Thinking, Sedona Method, Stress Relief, Tips, Tricks |

Reframing your thinking in a positive light is not just for the affirmation spouting “feel good” types.  Research is finally catching up with what many have suspected all along: positive emotions can change your life.  Specifically, they can “broaden people’s habitual modes of thinking and build their physical, intellectual and social resources” according to BL Fredrickson.  When you engage positive thoughts and emotions, not only are you leaving no room for negative emotions, you are also creating new neural pathways in your brain.  This means your brain changes, and thus, you change!  You can become a healthier person on all levels, especially in relation to your emotional consistency and resilience—something all entrepreneurs need to be successful in their businesses.

Doc Childre reminds us in his work (heartmath.com) that “attitude directs how you manage your energy.”  How we manage our energy really is how we run our lives and businesses, don’t you think?  If your energy is scattered or fragmented, you may feel like you are working an awful lot while not achieving the results you want.  IF your energy is being directed by fear or anxiety—emotions often felt when taking huge leaps of faith—your intuition could become stifled along with your creativity resulting in stagnant performance.  Learning how to focus one’s emotions, neutralizing the negative ones, can directly affect productivity, profit and performance.  We know from current research on the brain and heart that these changes are not only psychological in nature; your physiology changes along with your emotions.  It’s not all in your head! We’ve all experienced clammy hands when we are nervous, for example.  Obviously, we can’t control primitive reflex reactions—like when we are startled—but we can learn to minimize the body reactions by neutralizing our negative thoughts and emotions.

In addition to neutralizing in real time the charge of the emotion, we can then release it for greater freedom and peace.  The method is as simple as the previous techniques and equally profound in effect.  Many people have come up with variations on releasing these emotional “stores” in our bodies.  You can use techniques from Brain Gym, The Sedona Method, Heartmath or others.  It is helpful to be led through the process with a coach or practitioner the first time, but not necessary.  The main component in all these methods is in noticing what is going on in your body, being with it and STAYING with it until it dissipates.  Usually, when we get uncomfortable with these negative feelings we want to escape them as soon as possible.  But, instead we need to remain in the presence of these emotions.  This is counter-intuitive to how we live, but it works.

I’ve used The Sedona Method while on the pre-core machine at the gym with great success.  I had a client that was really stressing me out with her habit of negativity and over-reaction.  I liked this client but was feeling avoidance at the thought of her name.  I had just picked up a book on The Sedona Method and was eager to try this cerebral approach.  I visualized this person in my mind, felt the aversion, pedaled harder and began the internal questioning process:

1.      Name it.  What are you feeling now? (aversion)

2.      Could you welcome this feeling? (No!)

3.      Could your release this feeling? (Yes!)

4.      Will you release it? (Yes, please!)

5.      When? (Now?)

I went through the cycle about three or four times, naming each different feeling as it arose.  And finally, when I felt complete I could picture this client and I actually smiled.  The Sedona Method doesn’t instruct that you need to be moving physically, but with my training with educational kinesiology I knew it could only be beneficial; and it was. You’ll notice by my answers in the parentheses that it doesn’t matter if you answer “no” to any question.  Just keep breathing and going through the questions until you feel the emotion has released.  There is much great work that can be done with this simple method. (For more info go to www.sedonapress.com).

These methods can be combined with body centered tools that engage the heart/mind and body simultaneously.  This is probably why doing repetitive cardio helped my Sedona process.  All these techniques are useful for use on your own, although some take a bit of instruction or facilitation. Brain Gym is one brain/body integration method that listens to your body to unblock whatever is internally holding you back.  Again, this is a simple method involving 26 physical movements to achieve profound change in learning ability and overall emotional health.  This system of integrating activities is taught in person either one on one or in a group by a licensed professional. 

Many schools are using the techniques with their students to enhance learning ability and readiness.  Once you have worked in person with an instructor you can use all you have learned on your own at home.  Some changes are instantaneous and others unfold over time. (For more info go to www.braingym.org). A benefit of this program is that it is appropriate for even the smallest child (you don’t need to be able to talk, unlike other methods that are more cerebral), whereas other methods profiled in this article are more fitted to school-aged children that have passed a certain developmental stage.

 

         

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Lower Your Stress with a Simple Tool

Posted on July 25, 2006. Filed under: body, brain, emotions, HeartMath, Mind/Body, Stress Relief, Tips |

Lower Your Stress with a Simple Tool

You can transform your stress into productive energy
Live a more relaxed and happier life by effectively dealing with stress & anxiety
–Heartmath, LLC

Our lives can get really crazy with our jobs, carpooling, money concerns, children with difficulties, and a multitude of other issues. Yet, all this stress is not good for us! Do you ever feel so stressed that you worry about your heart? In a Newsweek article called “The Good Heart” I was reminded not only of the physical components \to our health (cortisol = stress hormone = body on alert = PROBLEMS), but also there is finally research on how our thinking, our mentality or perspective, can be more harmful (or helpful) than the physical factors!

I had a chance to experience this first hand recently:

After major surgery, I was recovering in a room with other people around me. I had a curtain encircling my bed, but I could hear anything that happened in the room. When the anesthesia was finally wearing off I noticed behind my head. Looking over my shoulder I saw the heart monitor blipping away. The flashing number gave me an idea and I decided to experiment—it’s not like I could do anything else! First, I noticed that every time another patient starting crying out or moaning my heart rate would spike up. I started focusing on relaxed deep breathing (important after surgery also) and put my mind on positive thoughts. Within seconds, I saw those numbers plummet from 76 to 53! Of course, when a particular lady raised her cries of discomfort up the numbers would fly. Again, I lowered the rising numbers with the same technique. It was an amazing experience to see this in action, lying on a gurney, not so helpless after all*

Would you like to:

  • Tap into your creative and intuitive resources for better problem solving?
  • Help yourself maintain optimal health and physical resiliency?
  • Do you want to lower your stress with a breath and a thought?
  • How about training your body to react differently in the first place?

I’m always doing research and looking for tools that will benefit the cli I work with. It’s exciting to see what people are coming up with these days. I truly want you to experience the joy of less stress in your life.

*The Heartmath® technology is much more sophisticated than my hospital experiment. For more info go to

ps. since posting this article, heartmath has come out with a new portable version of this technology–cool

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