development
Coaching Corner: Waking Up
“Sara” doesn’t think she has anything to offer the world. She’s unable to identify her strengths and gifts. She’s asleep to her 17 year old self in so many ways. Waking up to who you are—who God made you to be—at your core it isn’t easy. We can’t just snap our fingers after saying “1, 2, 3 awake!” This isn’t a fairy tale we live in. But I wonder if we make it harder than we need to? Maybe sometimes, we could be like children in a fairy tale—open to wonder. Could this make it easier for us to wake up if we pretended we are children again to lock into that freshness of vision? Could we shed our skins of apathy, of nihilism, or despair? Can we even wake up without hope? Do we wake up to hope?
To wake up 1st we need to NOTICE we are asleep!
We walk around like zombies most of the time. Even if we are intellectually awake, we are not noticing what is going on in our bodies. We have blocked out the intelligence of our bodies. In the end, all this does is hurts us. Body centered movement such as yoga, tai-chi, pilates, and brain gym can help us wake up, but only if we want them to. As my sister summarized it, “using the body is like accessing the sub-conscious mind.” This powerful intervention, using the body to access subconscious and physiological dimensions in tandem with the conscious mind, is much faster than processes that only access part of the system. I have personally experienced this.
Of course, we can even be mindless and asleep during body-centered activities, not noticing what is happening. Since, we are thinking creatures it is important to connect the body intuition with the mind (an interesting site on physical/emotional intelligence, although I haven’t experienced their work first hand.) That’s one of the beauties of working with a program like Educational Kinesiology; it is an integrating process that wakes up the brain and body. I didn’t notice how much I wasn’t noticing until I took a Brain Gym 101 class (you can go to braingym.org for info on classes in your area). And waking up is really about learning—learning to notice and be aware.
We know how powerful movement is for learning. How do kids learn the first five years of their lives? Through movement, play and exploration. Obviously, this should not suddenly change with the entrance into kindergarten, but unfortunately with the recent push for “academic” kindergartens, children’s natural and most effective learning routine is stalled. Developmental psychologists and most educators understand the importance of movement to learning. It is developmentally appropriate as the saying goes. But movement shouldn’t stop with our childhood. Adults need to move to learn also.
Think back to college and all those essays you had to write. What worked when you had writer’s block for a big paper? What woke up your creativity? Movement! Professors recommended going for walk, jog or something to get the ideas flowing. And guess what? It actually worked. Now we know why! How dare we expect kids to sit through 6 hours of lecture a day with no time for movement and integration of the ideas being thrown at them? But, I digress…waking up is also a process of unfolding.
I think that after I started working with yoga and educational kinesiology, it awoke me to other areas of my life that were asleep. A friend, who is a spiritual director, turned me on to the enneagram as a tool for spiritual growth. I have always been into personality “types” and theories—not in the boxing you in way, but to understand people better and thus, relate to people more completely. These theories have something to teach all of us—even if it is just a tidbit. But, none of them were transforming for me—until the enneagram. Dealing with my unconscious motivators and what my “number” type is usually blind to has been most helpful. In fact, it has been a very hopeful waking up experience. At times, it was depressing looking at my blind spots, waking up to my weaknesses. But, for an optimistic “7” dealing with the nitty gritty is important to do. I would rather avoid the ugly parts. Waking up works though. Now that I am awake to certain things, I notice them and can work on changing. I have woken up to hope by way of the despair.
If you have ways that work for waking you up into the fullness and truth of life, email me (my first name AT TheLearningGround.com—this is for the autobots scrolling for emails…) or comment in this blog. I would love to hear and share your wisdom with others. MH
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )My Mythology
When I was a little girl, I used to fantasize about “surviving” in my room, all alone. These ideas proliferated usually when I was mad at my parents and stubbornly would go into my “I don’t need ANYONE” mode. I had all the supplies I needed: books, music and imagination. My rations were in the closet—mini pecan rolls pilfered from my mother’s stash. My four poster bed became the “fort” to protect me from my enemies—usually my siblings. Could I survive here all by myself?
My independence and self-reliance began early. These are generally very positive characteristics; they can also become strangleholds. Sometime last year, my insightful sister told me, “Michelle, it sounds like your self-reliance has become a strong-hold in your life.” I wanted so much to not need anyone or anything “outside” of myself. My belief was that I should be able to handle whatever came my way. Our childhood mantra of “can’t isn’t in our vocabulary” spoken by encouraging parents somehow transformed into something else in my head. How did I twist the idea of not giving up to one that meant I shouldn’t need help?
One night as a teenager, I was walking on the beach with my tall hunky crush, who told me in all seriousness, “I am an island.”
“John Donne said, ‘No man is an island.’” I retorted with a scoff. Besides, I’m thinking, islands can’t kiss girls on moonlit beaches…My philosophy for everyone but me was that we needed each other.
Every society and culture has its mythology. But so does every person. These are the stories and sayings we repeat to ourselves until they become our reality. It takes brutal honesty and OUTSIDE perspective to get to the bottom of our self-mythology. Sometimes our imaginations protected our tender young psyches. Sometimes we used our stories to survive. We did the best we could at the time. We do the best we can now.
I’m keeping my determination, self-reliance and ability to receive from others. What is your mythology doing to block your life now?
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Interplay 