personal thoughts
Everything has changed
An update:
I haven’t written in this blog since last summer for a few reasons.
- My father died unexpectedly in July and that rocked my world
- I started officially fostering a toddler 5 days after he died
- we had some months of “if it can go wrong, it will” in the fall during the beginning of our grieving period.
- I stopped working at the end of September and am on sabbatical for this year.
- We had court practically every two weeks from Sept to Jan due to our foster child. Not fun.
- My dad died and I am still not even close to being over that.
When I do start blogging again it will still concern body/mind/spirit, but with a theological twist due to my interests. I will still write articles and post in the future. I’ll probably get to that sometime this spring.
Until then, wishing you peace, joy and a heart seeking what really matters in this life!
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Practical Aspects of an Integrated Life
I haven’t been posting. I know I am stating the obvious!
Instead, I have been working on integrating my life.
What does that mean?
Well, for starters, it means learning to live as a single mom to a toddler during the week while my hubby works out of town. We’re in the foster/adoption game, which is a whole integration nightmare in itself. I can’t speak to this situation yet due to privacy and legal issues, but more info will be forthcoming after the trial in July.
Integrating a new special being that walks and talks (more everyday) and keeps going when you say, “stop!” has been a big transition to say the least. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but it is quite a change for a thirty-something self-employed professional woman! My business has been put on hold while we worked on increasing attachment. Now, we are firmly attached and hubby is moving home in 8 days to parent with me! (He got a new job locally–yay!) My plan is to finish this summer the work I started before precious baby joined my life–my new emphasis in solely coaching children and the www.morethantutors.com directory due to launch at the end of August.
Also, I am going to write a bit more personally on this blog, interspersed with professional articles, while I wait for my colleagues to clear their schedules and join in the writing venture. Instead of having many separate blogs (this isn’t product promotion afterall…) which only makes life more complicated, MOST of it will happen here.
Other aspects of integration that are happening in my life involve the healing of my body and soul. More on all that later.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )My Mythology
When I was a little girl, I used to fantasize about “surviving” in my room, all alone. These ideas proliferated usually when I was mad at my parents and stubbornly would go into my “I don’t need ANYONE” mode. I had all the supplies I needed: books, music and imagination. My rations were in the closet—mini pecan rolls pilfered from my mother’s stash. My four poster bed became the “fort” to protect me from my enemies—usually my siblings. Could I survive here all by myself?
My independence and self-reliance began early. These are generally very positive characteristics; they can also become strangleholds. Sometime last year, my insightful sister told me, “Michelle, it sounds like your self-reliance has become a strong-hold in your life.” I wanted so much to not need anyone or anything “outside” of myself. My belief was that I should be able to handle whatever came my way. Our childhood mantra of “can’t isn’t in our vocabulary” spoken by encouraging parents somehow transformed into something else in my head. How did I twist the idea of not giving up to one that meant I shouldn’t need help?
One night as a teenager, I was walking on the beach with my tall hunky crush, who told me in all seriousness, “I am an island.”
“John Donne said, ‘No man is an island.’” I retorted with a scoff. Besides, I’m thinking, islands can’t kiss girls on moonlit beaches…My philosophy for everyone but me was that we needed each other.
Every society and culture has its mythology. But so does every person. These are the stories and sayings we repeat to ourselves until they become our reality. It takes brutal honesty and OUTSIDE perspective to get to the bottom of our self-mythology. Sometimes our imaginations protected our tender young psyches. Sometimes we used our stories to survive. We did the best we could at the time. We do the best we can now.
I’m keeping my determination, self-reliance and ability to receive from others. What is your mythology doing to block your life now?
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
Interplay 