self Image
Winning the Inner Game teleseminar
Today we had our “Winning the Inner Game” teleseminar, presented by the Mediation Marketing Institute. I neglected to tell you all about this event and I apologize. Good news is that you can still sign up and receive the mp3 of the calls. And yes, it will be calls–plural–because we had some technical difficulties and will have two recordings. Also, we will be having the second part of our interactive teleseminar in January. More on that later. So click the above link to get signed up for this FREE resource and we will keep you posted.
One thing I really like about partnering with Kristina Haymes is that good mediators are very holistic and self aware. What she values as a mediator fits in with our quest here at Interplay to explore the mind/bocy/spirit connections. There is a lot of congruence with values and purpose. It has been delightful for me to interact with these fabulous people going out to mediate the world’s problems. Quite important work, imo. Thanks to all you mediators!
I haven’t posted much lately due to traveling and not wanting to be on the computer. I was jogging on the beach quite a bit though and this past week went hiking in the beautiful mountains while our dog, Rocco, romped around in the snow. So the computer just wasn’t calling me!
How is everyone else doing? Are the holidays a good time for your spirit or a difficult time?
Peace to you,
Michelle
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Coaching Corner: Waking Up
“Sara” doesn’t think she has anything to offer the world. She’s unable to identify her strengths and gifts. She’s asleep to her 17 year old self in so many ways. Waking up to who you are—who God made you to be—at your core it isn’t easy. We can’t just snap our fingers after saying “1, 2, 3 awake!” This isn’t a fairy tale we live in. But I wonder if we make it harder than we need to? Maybe sometimes, we could be like children in a fairy tale—open to wonder. Could this make it easier for us to wake up if we pretended we are children again to lock into that freshness of vision? Could we shed our skins of apathy, of nihilism, or despair? Can we even wake up without hope? Do we wake up to hope?
To wake up 1st we need to NOTICE we are asleep!
We walk around like zombies most of the time. Even if we are intellectually awake, we are not noticing what is going on in our bodies. We have blocked out the intelligence of our bodies. In the end, all this does is hurts us. Body centered movement such as yoga, tai-chi, pilates, and brain gym can help us wake up, but only if we want them to. As my sister summarized it, “using the body is like accessing the sub-conscious mind.” This powerful intervention, using the body to access subconscious and physiological dimensions in tandem with the conscious mind, is much faster than processes that only access part of the system. I have personally experienced this.
Of course, we can even be mindless and asleep during body-centered activities, not noticing what is happening. Since, we are thinking creatures it is important to connect the body intuition with the mind (an interesting site on physical/emotional intelligence, although I haven’t experienced their work first hand.) That’s one of the beauties of working with a program like Educational Kinesiology; it is an integrating process that wakes up the brain and body. I didn’t notice how much I wasn’t noticing until I took a Brain Gym 101 class (you can go to braingym.org for info on classes in your area). And waking up is really about learning—learning to notice and be aware.
We know how powerful movement is for learning. How do kids learn the first five years of their lives? Through movement, play and exploration. Obviously, this should not suddenly change with the entrance into kindergarten, but unfortunately with the recent push for “academic” kindergartens, children’s natural and most effective learning routine is stalled. Developmental psychologists and most educators understand the importance of movement to learning. It is developmentally appropriate as the saying goes. But movement shouldn’t stop with our childhood. Adults need to move to learn also.
Think back to college and all those essays you had to write. What worked when you had writer’s block for a big paper? What woke up your creativity? Movement! Professors recommended going for walk, jog or something to get the ideas flowing. And guess what? It actually worked. Now we know why! How dare we expect kids to sit through 6 hours of lecture a day with no time for movement and integration of the ideas being thrown at them? But, I digress…waking up is also a process of unfolding.
I think that after I started working with yoga and educational kinesiology, it awoke me to other areas of my life that were asleep. A friend, who is a spiritual director, turned me on to the enneagram as a tool for spiritual growth. I have always been into personality “types” and theories—not in the boxing you in way, but to understand people better and thus, relate to people more completely. These theories have something to teach all of us—even if it is just a tidbit. But, none of them were transforming for me—until the enneagram. Dealing with my unconscious motivators and what my “number” type is usually blind to has been most helpful. In fact, it has been a very hopeful waking up experience. At times, it was depressing looking at my blind spots, waking up to my weaknesses. But, for an optimistic “7” dealing with the nitty gritty is important to do. I would rather avoid the ugly parts. Waking up works though. Now that I am awake to certain things, I notice them and can work on changing. I have woken up to hope by way of the despair.
If you have ways that work for waking you up into the fullness and truth of life, email me (my first name AT TheLearningGround.com—this is for the autobots scrolling for emails…) or comment in this blog. I would love to hear and share your wisdom with others. MH
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )My Mythology
When I was a little girl, I used to fantasize about “surviving” in my room, all alone. These ideas proliferated usually when I was mad at my parents and stubbornly would go into my “I don’t need ANYONE” mode. I had all the supplies I needed: books, music and imagination. My rations were in the closet—mini pecan rolls pilfered from my mother’s stash. My four poster bed became the “fort” to protect me from my enemies—usually my siblings. Could I survive here all by myself?
My independence and self-reliance began early. These are generally very positive characteristics; they can also become strangleholds. Sometime last year, my insightful sister told me, “Michelle, it sounds like your self-reliance has become a strong-hold in your life.” I wanted so much to not need anyone or anything “outside” of myself. My belief was that I should be able to handle whatever came my way. Our childhood mantra of “can’t isn’t in our vocabulary” spoken by encouraging parents somehow transformed into something else in my head. How did I twist the idea of not giving up to one that meant I shouldn’t need help?
One night as a teenager, I was walking on the beach with my tall hunky crush, who told me in all seriousness, “I am an island.”
“John Donne said, ‘No man is an island.’” I retorted with a scoff. Besides, I’m thinking, islands can’t kiss girls on moonlit beaches…My philosophy for everyone but me was that we needed each other.
Every society and culture has its mythology. But so does every person. These are the stories and sayings we repeat to ourselves until they become our reality. It takes brutal honesty and OUTSIDE perspective to get to the bottom of our self-mythology. Sometimes our imaginations protected our tender young psyches. Sometimes we used our stories to survive. We did the best we could at the time. We do the best we can now.
I’m keeping my determination, self-reliance and ability to receive from others. What is your mythology doing to block your life now?
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Body Beautiful
She’s tall, long limbed with striking blue eyes and luxurious brown hair, yet she’s caught in the trap most women find themselves in: not accepting and embracing their beauty, wondering in the face of our own media-saturated anorexic-inspired worship of false beauty ideals if she’s attractive, feeling discouraged at the prospect of dealing with the mating-game loaded with crazy expectations.
Her question, how do you come to accept yourself–even love who you are–in this body?
I’m on the other side: a few years older and mainly avoiding the self-loathing of my very imperfect body. How did I arrive in this place? What are key comments of achieving self-love and acceptance while in our imperfect states of being?
I was stumped for an answer. But the answer is very important.
Finally, I thought of a few items that have helped me along the way:
1) OPT OUT-choose to not saturate yourself with the media’s obsession with airbrushed beauty; don’t read the beauty magazines, don’t watch TV shows that prey on the false dream of perfection = happiness (the SWAN, EXTREME MAKEOVER…). Avoid conversations with body obsessed individuals. You CAN walk away.
2) TELL YOURSELF THE TRUTH: focus on your positive features and focus on the healthy body that can move, dance, play and love. What you focus on will absorb your attention so that there isn’t time for self-loathing. Obviously, the opposite is true: if you constantly compare yourself to others and talk about how much you hate your body, that is what will fill you up.
3) Let the creator of your body in on the conversation. It’s all about perspective. You were made as a magnificent creation. Your body is a holy temple. Allow your creator’s LOVE to fill your perspective of your body. What is God telling you about your body? Do you think God’s perspective is the same as yours?
It all comes down to being intentional about who you are and what you focus on. Protect your precious self from those that would ridicule or tear you down. You are beautiful in your own way. Really.
I would love to hear about what works for you in keeping your sanity among all the body beautiful craziness all around us. Post your comments or email meJ
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
Interplay 